A Work in Progress?

March 7, 2022February 28, 2022 ~ annemcsommers ~ 1 Comment

This was so depressing I went back and added the last paragraph when editing. It kind of follows a similar vein to Katherine the Great, in so for as people seem to spend a lot of time trying to do things to make themselves successful to be happy, when sometimes you just gotta take a minute to stop and smell the roses.

Caroline felt that at her core she was a work in progress. She was a person, but not complete. At 40, she still looked around when a child looked for an adult, not yet feeling that she was up to wearing that mantle of responsibility.

She wasn’t where she should be in her career. She didn’t own a car, or house, and she wasn’t close to having the money to do either. She didn’t travel or have luxury goods to explain her lack of the other.

She had no husband, children, or even a prospect of either., not that she wanted them them, and that was the hardest part to explain to other people. Caroline felt as if she was a variant, some small defect had left her just shy of fitting in any of the molds, and so went through life unformed, unfinished, and unfulfilled.

That wasn’t entirely true though, not really, because Caroline was happy. She was happy in her apartment, her dead end job, her hobbies, and her dog. Maybe, what she needed to do was not focus on reaching her finished state, but to redefine what it was she was aiming for. After all, success is what you make of it.

Katherine the Great

January 5, 2022February 19, 2022 ~ annemcsommers ~ 1 Comment

I will be honest here, no memory of writing this, but it seems a wonderful choice to post right at the New Year. I am not a resolution type of girl, and sometimes I think people need to work a little more on being happy with who they are, rather than trying to become someone who will be happy. Controversial opinion, I know. Please note, I do not condone smoking in any way, shape, or form.

“Today’s the day I change” She said to herself, reading the little card. Stupid affirmations, they always seemed so shallow. Though she wasn’t exactly sure what it was that she was expecting. After all they were only small pieces of cardboard.

She skipped ahead to the next day “keep trying”

Bleh, she threw the stack in the garbage, and pulled the package of cigarettes from her purse. She was jittery, and on edge, and smoking was going to kill her one day, but this, the feelings might do it today if she didn’t.

She breathed in and relished the burn, letting the familiar sensation calm her in a way that a thousand stupid affirmations wouldn’t. She looked at the yoga mat in the corner, and felt a simmering of guilt at not even opening the gift. She knew that it would help, but she had been so busy it just seemed like one more task, on an endless list of tasks.

She snuffed out the cigarette, and reached for her second vice, breathing in the bitter smell of the hot coffee. It was bad for her anxiety, or so she had been told, but there were some things that she wouldn’t bend on, and this was one of them.

It seemed the recipe for clean living was being miserable, and she was one of those who was going to die far too young under the banner of living well. For her quality was everything, and while she tried to balance it with quantity of life, most of the time it just fell short.

What was it the song said “good time, not a lot of time” or something of the sort? She was determined from here on out she was going to stop stressing ,and start enjoying, and that meant coffee, cigarettes and fucking cake, not a stupid salad, no dressing, and 45 minute jog. She stepped back in from the balcony, closed the door and got ready for the day

She brushed her teeth twice to make sure to rid herself of the smell, and took a long shower. After, she did her hair, nails, makeup, and layered her clothing just so. She looked in the mirror and the person starting back at her appeared completely unrelated to the person who walked into the bathroom. She nodded at the stranger in the mirror and she knew she was ready to face the day.

The wasn’t Katie, who rather spend her day in her PJ’s eating ice cream than talk to another person. This was Katherine, consummate professional, impeccable, sociable, and good at what she did. She was ready to take on the world, and god forbid anyone stupid enough to get in her way, because Katherine took no prisoners.

She thought back to the nonsensical affirmation card and laughed. Nothing was going to change today, and maybe, just maybe, that was a good thing.

Miserably Successful

August 20, 2021February 20, 2022 ~ annemcsommers ~ 3 Comments

I am really getting into the idea of the six-sentence story. I think next week I am going to try and challenge myself into doing something light and fluffy. This weeks six sentences are based on the prompt word explore, by girlontheedge. It’s inspired on the idea of external vs. internal validation and the lessons some of us probably wish we picked up on a bit earlier in life.

We step out into the world as explorers, young, fresh-faced, sure that we know everything, and ready for our adventure. We follow the path we are sure lead to success, and we wait eagerly for the recognition we know we deserve, and the happiness that will follow.

For most of us it does not come and we are sure it is because at some point we were forced to stray from the path laid out in front of us since we were children and we weep for what might of been. What we do not know is that even for those who followed it through to the end without issue, that when we finally reach that goal that we have been working for the reward is not what we were expecting, and we are left wanting, wondering what we have done wrong.

If we are lucky we realize the truth, that we are the undiscovered countries that we need to explore and not the world that surrounds us. That it is only in knowing ourselves that we can know what will satisfy us, and that no external validation can compare to knowing that we are fulfilled in what we do and have accomplished.