Third Time’s the Charm

Continuing on the year theme of, who wrote this, because they are twisted, and murder, here is this weeks short story, a first person POV of the clean up. I admit I watch WAYYY too many procedural crime dramas. I used the #murdercation, which should not be a thing. This was me trying a stream of consciousness, for a psychopath….


You know when you drop a cup of coffee, and like by some miracle the top two centimeters, not even an inch of coffee is all the spills out of the cup, but somehow that extremely small amount of coffee seems to get on everything. Its on you, the table, the chair, the floor, the wall half way across the room, and you can’t quite figure out how that tiny volume seems to have gone so far, and it makes no sense.

Well the same thing can be said of blood splatter, and while the human body only has like 5 liters, or 1.5 gallons of blood in it, it seems like so much more when it’s mostly on the outside.

It just seems so improbable that you can be coated in blood, the body is coated in blood, its dripping from the ceiling, and it can still basically be covering every surface in a small room. Take away the corpse, and ask someone to take a guess, and they would probably say that two or three people had been killed here, not just the one.

All I am saying, is that this is going to be way more clean up than I signed on for, and like the drop sheets I got, might as well not even be there for the amount of blood seeping through the seams and onto the floor. I hope I brought enough bleach for this, because it isn’t exactly like I can go out and get more in my current attire.

Fuck, even my hair is soaked. I guess that shower isn’t gonna wait till tomorrow after all. Note to self: next time wear a shower cap. Also, try and figure out somewhere better to do this. Hopefully, the cement is sealed well enough under here that it won’t stain. I would hate to have to paint the floor, it would really ruin the industrial feeling I was going for in the basement. OH well.

You know, with all the missing blood, you would also assume that the body would get a little lighter, but I guess what they say is true about it being hard to move dead weight. Ha, did you catch that, DEAD, weight.

Ok, she is wrapped, and out of the way until dismemberment. Just gotta, clean this all up before anything stains, and then get some new sheeting for phase two.

Fuck this is exhausting, I am wiped and I haven’t even disposed of the body yet. I wish someone would do this for me. Well, do it and not report me to the police, because I am so not made for jail! Okay, pity party over, now to start cutting.

Shit, wait, almost forgot the wood, five sheets of sub-floor should do it, I don’t want to damage the floor while cutting. Ok, now wrap each piece with an independent sheet plastic, and three to four medium sized rocks. A little on the heavier side, yes, but you don’t want this to be a floater. Then after washing up move this to another wrapping station to wrap in a clean plastic sheet to prevent any transfer in the car. Note to self: Remember to poke a few small holes in each side prior to dumping to allow for gasses to escape.

Ok, and packing the suitcase. Ok good, and loading the car. Great thing is, that I always over pack for vacations, so Sue just thinks that I need two bags for a week long trip. Note to self: Tell Sue they lost one of my bags at the airport. Everyone has at least one bad luggage story, so its perfectly reasonable. Ok, and onto the boat to get to the mainland. Taking my own boat is decadent, night boating is weird, but I have made a habit of it, and voicing my distaste for the ferry, so its entirely reasonable. Also, a lot safer to store my car the dock than at the airport.

Ok, we are out deep enough, jabbing the holes, and 1, 2, 3,4, 5, 6, and 7 , all packages away and far enough apart, just in case someone does come upon one. Though I doubt it would happen; this isn’t exactly a fishing spot, and you would need scuba gear to get down to the bottom here, this is definitely not the place for diving either, too many boats. Ok, and at the dock, hands are clean, clothes changed in case of accidental transfer. Suitcase reloaded with old sheets to abandon in Havana, and I am good to go. Ooh, cabs here too, right on time.

Things are definitely going so much better than they did last time. Oh ya, I am so repeating this next time out. #murdercation

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